Disgusted

I am sick with disgust.  There are so many things happening around me lately that just make me want to fight.  And I mean fight!  Hit, punch, kick the crap out of someone kind of fight.  Scream and yell until they get the freaking message. And in the next moment, I am reduced to tears.  I am angry.  Angry with select individuals.  Angry with God.  Because I just don't understand.  Because I don't want to be in this place,  again.

I try, so hard to tell myself all the right things.  Everything happens for a reason...blah, blah, blah.  I am best suited to deal with it...sure.  WTF!  I don't get it and I don't know how to deal with it.  I don't know what the hell I am supposed to do any more. I don't know what to say.  All I know is that I just want it all to go away.  Now.  But I can't turn my back.  It is not in me.  I am so sick of the worry and pain, hurt and tears.  But I can't wont walk away.  I suck at this blind faith thing.  I have to keep going.

There is senseless hurt.  Adults who should know better, act better and don't.  Other's who turn their heads because they don't want to get involved.  Seriously?  I am sorry.  I thought that children needed adults, to look after and protect them.  There are laws in place that do better protecting stupid adults who should know better than the children who have no option for any better.  It is sick!