It could happen tomorrow, technically today. In a couple days it will be four weeks since my last injection. They are calling this the "wash-out" period. All I know is that I cannot wait for some relief. I could be getting my first infusion today. I've been told that I may feel immediate relief. I cannot imagine.
Yesterday, I used a couple sprays of hairspray, the pump kind. A couple. My joints in my index finger felt as if I had jammed them into a wall. Actually, it kinda reminded me of the times I caught a softball wrong and jammed my finger then. I removed a couple of ornaments from our Christmas tree and my neck and shoulders are reminding me of those movements tonigh. These things don't happen with healthy joints.
I am tired, exhausted. Not as much as the week of Christmas and New Years, but more than I would like to be. Thankfully, the weakness hasn't settled in and I am hoping that won't be the case before new treatment begins. None of this stops me from doing all I have to do in a day. There really isn't a choice.
These past few weeks have made it clear that the Humira injections I had been enduring over the past year, weren't doing all they could could. I just didn't know enough to, know. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to feel. It was doing something, but not enough. I am more in control this time. I have a new rheumatologist with whom, I think, there is already a better rapport with. My second visit, he brought in another rheum from the practise. I was sold. This is where I need to be. And then they said the right words for me: "and if this doesn't work, we are going to try that. If that doesn't then this..." They have a freaking plan! OMG! A plan. In the end, if nothing works, I know I will still be better with the plan. Something to look forward to an be hopeful for. Nobody likes to wander down a path unprepared. As my baby boy would say, "Dis is my spot!". Game on!
This is a new year with new opportunities. I cannot wait to do the simple things in life that most of us take for granted. Who knew tapping my foot to the music could cause so much pain? Regardless, I am very thankful for the small steps forward. A year ago, we were all ecstatic that I could dress to go to the grocery store. Even if I only made it there for 10 minutes. That was progress. Now I am able to drive myself, park, shop and load the car. That is the difference a diagnosis makes. So very thankful.
To my friends out there who are also searching for relief and trying to take this one day at a time...and not think about what lies ahead, I cannot stress enough how together we all are in this. Never alone, even though many times, it feel as though we are.