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Sunday, March 24, 2013

On the Ball

It's time to get that "birthing ball" out again.  OK, so some of you refer to it as and "exercise ball".  I, however have most likely not touched or used this piece of equipment since my last child was brought into this world (he is now six).  Oh, I am sure there was an moment or two that I spent on it when I decided to start some crazy exercise regimen.  And then thought better of it...five minutes later.

Sometimes, I can be so ambitious, I scare myself.  I would think nothing of tearing apart of room to either paint or rearrange.  Or taking some tools to hack away at some piece of furniture to manipulate it in to something I dreamed up.  However, ask me to commit to anything that would benefit only myself?  That is a hard sell.  Not just me, but many of you, as well.  I am thinking that now is a good time to change this.

There is this funny balance to having RA.  Move too much (if and when you can) and you pay for it.  Move too little...and you pay for it just the same.  I have been in this limbo for a while where I really cannot exercise, for various reasons.  This week, I was given the go-ahead to start some aerobic activity.  Three minutes per day.  And I am to add a minute each week after as tolerated.  Oh, yeah [I thought]...this, I can do!  

Not so fast there mama!  And it gets better.

You see.  Not only are women blessed to be reminded each and every month for a predetermined sentence period (no pun intended!) that they are the stronger gender; able to endure great hormonal shifts (i.e. well handled mood swings!), severe cramping, inconvenience (that like no man has ever known or would be able to handle!).Women are also blessed to endure...childbirth!  Our bodies, after some time (and sometimes, bigger babies)...notsomuch.  Things literally can and will start to...fall out?  I won that lottery.

Long story short, until I get this taken care of, no aerobic activity for me.  In fact, standing for too long to do practically anything, reminds me of this.  Along with laughing, coughing or sneezing while standing.

I will not be defeated.  Get out the birthing ball!!  Nothing can fall out if I am sitting down!  I hope.

Back on the ball again. It is time to start getting those core muscles in shape and try to rebuild and build-up some of those muscles that steroids have really started to take their tole on.  I have to get myself a bit stronger before my "reconstructive" surgery (some women get tummy tucks or boob jobs when they hit  Well, won't this be fun!  It will be a different kind of Lift & Tuck/High & Tight!).  If a simple cold can take me down for a month,I can't imagine that surgery will have a better effect on me.

And it gets even better.  I am going to work some resistance bands.  This should be fun.  I have very little strength in my arms and hands.  I imagine this not going very well.  If you run into me in public and notice any red welts, know it didn't go very well!  Maybe, I could video tape this and become a YouTube sensation.  "Girl on Birthing Ball Loses Balance and Falls Off While Getting Slapped With Resistance Bands (that most likely snapped due to their old age)".  I can totally see it now.  Except, there will be NO video.  Ever.  Period.

So, here we are again folks.  Another promise to myself.  This could turn out to be the most catastrophic promise I have made to date.  Three minutes a day on the birthing ball...with resistance bands (with limited balance and strength on my part).  This should be so damn good.

Perhaps I should change back to drinking lots of water in a day....

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